Title Unknown Version 20
by Jellytaco
Summary: Well.Hinata shot down a Helicopter. Sakura is Half Bald. Naruto started a Gang War. Temari is missing a finger. Shikamaru has a tattooed mustache. Ten Ten has a stolen Million Dollar Worth Diamond. Gaara has been kidnapped by the Mafia and Ino holds the party that starts it all. Read at your own risk. (On a side note, it has been like forever since I've been on )
1. Chapter 1

**This chapter is purely A/N so that I don't have to put it in the first chapter and waste your times so skip if you want.**

 **So this is going to be a total rewrite (I will be keeping true to the original ideas but there will be changes) because as time has gone on, I have realized my older fanfictions were absolute shit. While the reviews are encouraging, one reviewer, which I'm not entirely sure if they meant it positively or not, pointed out, that my grammar and language was brutish, however bad language is my thing, I'm not going to tip toe around ki** **ds** **just because they're kids. No. So I welcome you, to the new and improved "Title Unknown". The Original "Title Unknown" is still up btw.**

 **I want to also disclaim I am not against the LGBT community, or any community for that matter, however derogatory terms used in this fanfiction are completely satirical and no way express my feelings towards the LGBT community or any other community I may offend.**

 **Also, I am trying to get back into the groove of writing fanfics so bare with.**

 **(I hate putting this in every chapter so let's try and make it professional because I am bored af )**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto** **nor the Naruto Franchise. I do not have any associations with Naruto nor the Naruto Franchise. My work is completely satirical and any and all OC's and the Plot belong solely to me and I see them as my intellectual property. I do not want my work to published anywhere else (this site and others), failure to do so and I will have to seek mighty justice from Thor.**

 **Also I am aware having a purely A/N chapter is like against the rules, but trust me, I think it is better to have it here, than in the first chapter and kind of put you off reading.**

" _ **I am not a crook"~ Ruby Rose (RWBY Vol 2)**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Title Unknown**

"Good Morning Konoha! Today's weather is forecast to be Sunny, with temperatures set to be high, so get your beer out and enjoy tonight's hot weather. On other news, here in Konoha, a new Enclosure at the Zoo has opened, a Kiwi Enclosure, so be sure to check those animals out. It's 9:00 am here and you're listening to Konoha FM" Ino turned her radio down in her head phones as she sat down in the class as she looked at her friends.

"Morning Hinata" Ino says as the pair wave at each other "Seen Forehead yet?"

"N-No, I think she may have had some trouble getting into school today"

"Yeah, her street is blocked off again, something about the Slasher Flasher killing another Woman" Temari pipes up as she walks into class as they sit in their group.

"So, you girls ready for tonight?" Ino asks as she closes her phone Orochimaru walking as he starts writing the classes agenda for the day.

"Tch did you hear what the other teachers are saying?" Temari snickers as she pulls her book out.

"That he's obsessed with Sasuke or the Sex Doll thing?" Ino asks as Sakura enters the class from the window behind them, the class watching the Pink Haired girl struggle, her height wasn't impressive, but what was impressive was how she swung her leg in smacking Ino in the head as Ino cries out in pain.

"You shit" Ino hisses as Orochimaru turns.

His eyes scanned over the class, everyone was present, the boys were facing the front as the girls were deadly still.

"Don't move, he can sense fear" Temari whispers as Sakura smiles wide, a little too wide trying not to show fear.

"He's not a Dinosaur" Sakura grits through her teeth as Ino kicks her under the desk.

"Dinosaurs didn't sense fear" Hinata says as moving her head to look at the group "Movement"

"Why did you move then Hinata!" Ino cries as Orochimaru zeros in on the group.

"Girls" Orochimaru says as he slams his hand down on the desk "I teach Mathematics, not Science"

"Well that doesn't Add up, you're good at science" Temari says as her friends look at her with the most blank face ever "What? I bet you're wishing I could subtract my joke huh?"

"Enough" Ino says.

''I thought it was a little funny" Hinata whispers as Orochimaru watches his students go back to their world as he sighs.

"Sorry to Divide you guys" Temari continues as Ino slams her book on her head "Ow! Ow!"

"GIRLS!" Orochimaru shouts as they look at him a little shocked "Thank you, now please open your work books!"

Ino sat down outside with her people as she opened her lunch, she had done something maybe regrettable, but hey, she was a senior, last year to turn it up, make a small name for herself as her friends chatted about god knows what.

"So, Ino, do you think it's a good idea to invite everyone to your Birthday party tonight?" Sakura asks as the other girls eat their food.

"Of course! We're seniors! It will be killer and everyone is just people in our year" Ino exclaims as she fixes her ponytail.

"As long as there is no contraband" Hinata says as she pops a cherry Tomato in her mouth.

"Maybe a lil' wine, get a little buzz going" Ino says as Sakura frowns.

"Ino, there shouldn't be booze regardless" Sakura challenges as people outside start shouting about something.

"It's going to be low key okay" Ino assures her friends as they look between each other "Starts at 4pm, be there or be square"

"Can I bring a few snacks?" Hinata asks as she pencils something into her School Diary.

"Yes, you guys can bring what you want, it's my Birthday Party and while Mom and Dad are away, I will eat what I like" Ino shouts excitedly "I'm so Pumped!''

"Oh Hina can you bring some baked goods?" Temari asks as her friend nods.

"S-sure" Hinata says as she also writes it down in her diary.

 _ **"~+~"**_

"Sai" Naruto starts as he fixes his shoe lace looking up at he pale boy "Please stop filming us"

"It is for my project, I have to record everything" Sai starts "It's for my Film Studies"

"Yeah, well it's creepy" Kiba says as he turns to the pale boy only to find him gone "He's doing it again!"

"Yeah well at least he's not pretending his Art comes to life and that he works for a Secret organisation called "ROOT" any more, kami, he almost burned the whole Computer Lab down" Naruto says as the rest of the group nods as they approach the mall "Any way, are you guys going to Ino's Party tonight?"

"You mean her little get together?" Shikamaru asks as he nudges Choji.

"I am, but I have to bathe Akamaru in the Morning, he smells like wet carpet"

"Yeah but you always smell like Wet carpet" Naruto snorts as the others snicker as they walk in.

''So funny" Kiba answers sarcastically.

"I might skip, my folks are probably going to be busy, with the hot weather, it draws people out" Choji answers "But I'm sure Shikamaru can go for me"

"Sure" the tan male says as they spot Neji and Ten Ten walking together in the mall "Talking about going out"

"I wonder if Sakura will notice me tonight?" Naruto asks as he cuts in "If Neji can land a girl with his stuck up attitude, surely I can"

"So thirsty" Kiba jokes as the group laughs at the Blonde "Got em'!"

 _ **!_!~+~!_!**_

Ino's house was a large two story house, with a large living area in the lower part of the house, it had a homely feel to it, rather than a sleek and elegant feel, it had scars to match Ino's childhood as she aged. The Kitchen and dining lead out onto to the small Deck, where the hired Otogakure Music Online, a DJ group was set up, before expanding to the large back yard, and a pool near the back. Her family used to host large parties, up to about 100 people could attend in the back yard.

Upstairs was where all the bedrooms were, along with the upstairs bathroom, which was much more refined compared to the one downstairs, the outside of the house was a off white, or cream colour with dark grey tiles for roofing. Fairy lights were wrapped around the fence and deck as a table was laid out n the grass filled with many snacks and here was Hinata.

Ino hugged the girl as she walked through the back gate, the house was strictly sealed off past the kitchen and dining room. Her bluenette friend was looking very nice as she set her good down, there was chips, dip, Walnut loaf, brownies and candy as she waved to the other girls who were lounging around inside.

"S-Sorry I'm a little late, I didn't realise hair could take so long to curl" Hinata lets out a loud sigh.

"You look great!" Ino says as her friend goes a little red "And I hope Konohamaru, Moegi and Udon didn't interrogate you as you came in here"

"No...Why are they here?" Hinata asks as they peak around the corner.

"I let them play security and in return they don't tell my parents, it's a win win" Ino whispers as Hinata nods, Sakura walking out from inside, her shoes thumping loudly on the deck.

"Oh wow, Sakura-chan, you look amazing too!" Hinata says as she looks at her attire, it was very casual, yet trendy.

"You too guurl, unlike Temari who came in denim shorts and a t-shirt" Sakura says as the girl inside rolls her eyes.

"Don't forget the Hoody!" she shouts "Looks like more people are showing up!"

It was a slow burning party, as time marched on and the heat didn't subside, there was a good buzz going on at the party, people were chatting, the noise at a low hum as Ino thanks people for coming, she spotted Naruto and his crew show up as the drop their snacks off at the table, they did look a little shaken up, most likely from the Guards stationed at the front of the house. Ino was glad people were here, she was a social butterfly, she thrived and flourished as she spoke to people.

Naruto spied Hinata as he was looking for Sakura, his blue eyes locking onto the bluenette and he had to admit, she did look stunning. Her hair was curled in loose ringlets and she wore a dress shorts and a dark floral shirt that hugged her in all the right places, at least in his opinion, but Sakura looked great as well. Her hair was straight and had a pin in the side as she wore a large sweater and shorts.

Hinata seemed to notice his gaze as she waved at him, her cheeks heating up as he quickly looks away, slightly embarrassed as he walks towards Kiba, who was with Ino, they were taking pictures from the Deck.

"Oh yes! This can be the Image for... Title Unknown, tell others to put their photo's in here okay" Ino says as Kiba nods as she looks back up.

It started to grow dark as the fairy lights started to light up the area, people were dancing to the music and splashing in the pool as Ino nods. Yes. This was a good party. The low bass of the music was enough to get people really dancing as she walked back inside.

It was almost 7pm before Ino realized her party was growing at an alarming rate, more and more people were showing up as she looks for her friends, she was calling for an immediate meeting with the Founding Members upstairs.

 _ **""~+~""**_

"Good Morning Konoha! Today's weather is forecast to be Sunny! Now before we get into the big and juicy news this very morning, we have got to make an announcement! A Helicopter has crashed into the Mall late last night, the Mall will remain open, but a Barrier has been set up" Killer Bee starts "It is 9:00am and the lines are now open for all of you, who attended Title Unknown to give us, the lay down and we have our first caller! Rock Lee! What crazy shit did you see last night?"

"Hi!" his voice was energetic "But the most crazy thing I saw last night was the Monster Trucks-"

Ino rubbed her forehead as she growled, she wasn't feeling well as she pushed her self up and ran to the nearest bush, heaving all of her contents of her stomach as she takes a step back. Her back hit the ground as the girl beneath her yells.

The sun hit Ino in the eyes as she looked around. Holy golf balls, she felt terrible. Not to mention, where was she? Nudging Sakura, who bolts forwards as laughter spills from Ino's lips. Pointing, her laughter woke Ten Ten up, who was missing one of her iconic top buns. Ino found this equally funny as she snorted loudly.

"Hey Blondie shut up!" a voice grumbles from the park bench as Ten Ten looks at Temari, she looked...fine.

"Where in the hell are we?" Ino asks as she still laughs at Sakura "Look at your fucking hair"

"Look at your hair" Sakura retorts as she touches her head, to feel one side shaved completely "OH MY GOD! MY HAIR!"

"AH WHAT THE FUCK!" Temari screams next as she stands up holding her hand out "Where..."

"Oh you're missing a finger" Ten Ten says as she gets up, the four girls standing in a wobbly circle.

"Oh no, I didn't notice you oaf and look at you, you're missing a Bun" Temari says as she holds her hand out.

"Wait, wait a minute" Ino says "I can't remember anything"

"Oh well, I can tell you, that your name is Gay McFaggot Lord" Temari answers quickly.

"I can remember my name you idiot!" Ino shouts as she rips a piece of her shirt and hands it to Temari who holds it to where the pinky finger should've been "But I mean, I can't remember the Party"

"So, what did you see Suigetsu at Title Unknown?" the radio spouts as the girls looks to it.

"Hey, that's my party" Ino says "Maybe that can help us!"

"I saw a Bull Fight" the boy announces suddenly.

"Well you've heard it here first folks, we've heard about the Helicopter, the Monster Truck and now the Bull Fight, I am just wondering if anything can top this"

"Oh you didn't hear?" Suigetsu asks as Killer Bee makes a noise "Yeah, the Title Unknown also managed to start a Gang War"

"We what?" Ino asks as she turns to the others swallowing "What...What the fuck happened last night?"

"Hey guys, shut up!" Ten Ten cries out as her phone starts to ring "Hello?"

"Ten Ten?" it was Neji, his voice was hushed "Is that you?"

"Neji! Where are you, what happened last night?"

"I...Look, I can't talk for very long, they'll hear me" he whispers.

"Who will hear you?" Ten Ten asks concerned as the girls lean in "Neji!?"

"Oh shit" he says as they hear him puffing and running "Oh shit the Monkeys! They're throwing shi-"

Ten Ten's phone powered off as the girls look between each other.

"Well, I think it's best if we get back to my house" Ino says as she looks at her three friends "Maybe Hinata is there and can help us out"

"You do that, I'll take Temari to the Hospital" Ten Ten says as they all nod.

"Maybe we should all go together" Ino says.

"Safety in numbers" Sakura confirms.

"Safety from what?"

"My head was SHAVED! And we have no memories Ino, goodness gracious me, did you lose some brain cells too?" Sakura sasses back as Ino simply snickers.

"Angry"


	3. Chapter 3

**Title Unknown**

"Well fuck" Naruto stared down from the tree he was currently stuck in, like an Owl who couldn't fly yet, but needed to because the tree was on fire.

"Oh hey Naruto" A deep voice protruded from a few leaves behind him as Naruto flinches.

"Holy shit Gaara, you scared the living day lights out of me!" as he rests his head in his hands as he rubs his face as he saw red strands in his palm "Gaara"

"Yes?" the cyan eye coloured male answers, carefully walking over as they stood together.

"What colour is my hair?"

"Red"

"I see" Naruto says as he takes a deep breath, trying not to freak out. Sweet kami.

"We should go before the tree branch we're on breaks and we fall to the ground and then proceed to run into Inuzuka-san" Gaara says as he stares out to the smouldering neighbourhood, where is was a mass of ash and half standing buildings.

"That was oddly specific" Naruto comments as the tree branch begins to crack.

Naruto slammed into the ground as he made an inhuman sound, wheezing as he saw Gaara standing miraculously, almost like he was a game character in a "T" pose. Like he didn't fall at all, if Naruto didn't think the Sabaku kid was weird before, he was beginning to question him now. I mean, who lands in a "T" pose! He was baffled as he rolls over and pushes himself up.

Dusting himself off, the pair decided not to stick around as they walk out onto the street. With no recollection of what had happened and how on earth that houses were on fire, some ash and the fact he saw a Clown juggling grenades, he didn't know if they were real or not as the two red heads look out.

"Wow. I thought Suna was bad, but this neighbourhood is fucked" Gaara comments uncharacteristically, it was almost like Gaara was on some next level shit.

"Yeah I know right, it's totally fucked!" a voice slurs as Naruto lets out a scream as they turn to see an absolutely wrecked and drunk Kiba who had a bottle in his hands "Y…You guys are.."

"Kiba, are you okay?"

"Okay?! Okay!" Kiba laughs, finding himself roaring with laughter, like he had heard the best ad joke in the History of Dad jokes "How are you still walking?! Man, you got so messed up and here you are, look at you!"

"I'm sorry what?" Naruto was so confused, in general he was confused, but this was way above him.

A van came screeching down the road as Kiba stumbled and slurred random facts. Naruto was trying to listen.

"Vsauce. Michael here" Kiba mumbles as the Van suddenly skids behind them, the door sliding open as Naruto watched a pair of arms suck Gaara in.

"Asuh dude" Gaara says making a small hand sign as he gets pulled in, the Van taken off as Naruto stands wide eye as he turns wildly to Kiba.

"Kiba what on gods earth was that!" Naruto shouts as he goes to give chase as Kiba shrugs "Who was that!"

"Oh you don't remember?" the dog like male asks as he giggles "That was the Mafia"

"w0t"

 _ ***LineBreakLine***_

"Man, I am seriously concerned about HInata's where abouts" Sakura says as Temari gives her a confused look.

"That girl is literally a Martial Arts fucking monster, I have seen her, man, she was like _swish swish KAPOW!_ " Temari made poor noises as she made sharp moves trying to imitate Hinata "And you are half bald, I am missing a finger and Ten Ten is worrying too much about her Boyfriend"

"We need to find out what the fuck happened to us" Ino says as they walk into the Hospital "Holy crab cakes"

"My Kami" Ten Ten whispers.

The waiting room was filled with so many injured people as they look around. A few officers sat on the side as Ino walks over, she was so confused, she saw a girl missing her leg and a arrow sticking out of someone's arm.

"What happened?" Ino asks as one of the Officers looks up to her.

"A party of 2,000" the grey haired man answers, he sounded tired "My friend, Gai, encountered too much youth. That and a Grenade"

The four girls choked as Ino inhales. She was growing more and more anxious with every passing second. Oh god. She couldn't handle it.

"That wasn't even the worst part" Gai mumbles, as if he had PTSD "The girl, she shot down a Helicopter. Oh god, her eyes had too much Youth"

Gai proceeded to break down as his partner pats his back as the girls slowly back away. What the fuck was going on. The noise in the room seemed to drown out as Ino took laboured breaths. Oh good god. What the fuck happened. Her emotions swirled in her as she looked to Sakura, she was touching her hair as an eldery woman passes her a hat. Temari was talking to a Nurse and Ten Ten was looking down at her phone.

Clenching her fist, Ino looked to them.

"We're going to find out what the hell happened to Sakura, we're gonna get Ten Ten and Neji back together and help Temari out!" Ino says enthusiastically as they all nod "Temari do want anyone to stay with you?"

"Nah go on with out me, it's only a Finger, let alone a pinky finger" Temari says waving them off "Plus you guys doing what you're doing, I don't want any of that"

"Gotcha" Ten Ten says as she snaps her fingers at her friend.

"Don't ever do that again"

"Okay."

"We'll be back when we get news okay, just call us if you remember anything" Ino says as Sakura adjusts the beanie.

"Let's go and find out what on gods earth happened"

''I mean how bad can it be?" Temari asks as she's lead away.

 **~LineBreakLine~**

"My whole neighbourhood is ASH!"

"If Temari were here she'd make a pun about Pokemon" Sakura comments "I miss her already. May she rest in peace"

"She's not dead you oaf" Ten Ten says as Sakura dramatically places a hand over her heart.

"That's because she'll always be in our memories"

"The worst thing that could happen is that is Temari spouts on about her K-Pop addiction that she denies that she has"

"Oh don't even remind me of the argument she got in with Karin about Justin Beiber and one of those Korean dudes" Ino sighs as all the girls shiver at the memories "Anyway, let's get to what is left of my house and get the fuck out of here"

They walked down the street as they get to her house. It was literally ash with a bathtub sitting on the ground. The grass and pool out back seemed fine as they see a passed out Shikamaru as Ino bounds over, trying to shake the male awake. Licking her thumb she bent down to rub the moustache drawn on his face as she pauses.

"Oh that's drawn on" she says as she steps back.

"Is he okay?" Sakura asks as she steps over a broken pot "Ten Ten don't you know CPR?"

"No. But I know something that will wake him" Ten Ten says as she grins as she walks over to Shikamaru who was snoring "Temari is going through your phone"

"Troublesome woman" Shika mumbles as he opens his eyes and looks around to see the group "What did she see?"

"Oh you know" Ten Ten says indifferently.

"Shika! You gotta use your big genius brain okay!" Ino gushes cutting in.

"You want what? Oh hey look, the house we first climbed up, the branch broke" Shikamaru lazily pointed to the tree behind them "Anyway, you told me last night if anything ever happened to find Naruto, he'd know what to do"

"Wait do you remember last night?" Sakura asks, hoping it'd explain why she was half bald.

"I do"

They waited for him to respond as he gets up and walks off the property.

"Did he just walk off?'' the Pink haired girl asks as they all nod.

"He wouldn't help us, he hates Waking up before Noon" Ino grumbles "Anyway, we have a lead. Naruto. We find Naruto okay-"

A ring tone busted through the conversation as Sakura picks up a phone, an unknown flashes on.

"Wait this is Hinata's phone!" Ino says snatching the lilac phone as she swipes it to answer "Hinata?"

"No. I am looking for her" the voice says as the girls try to identify it "I know she is with you idiots"

"No, she isn't. Who is this?" Ten Ten asks as it goes silent.

"It's Sasuke. If you find Hinata tell her I am looking for her okay"

"Wait wait! What happened last night?" The girls rush as he sighs.

"Ask Naruto"

The Call ended abruptly as they look between each other.

"Well, how hard can it be to find a highly excitable blonde Naruto?" Ino says as they walk off their property and onto the street.


End file.
